I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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