I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
your like the ambassador to my penis.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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