I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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