Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
