tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
