I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
