Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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