im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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