apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
