I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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