Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
