i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
