we made out on top of his cat.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
