It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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