She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
