better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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