Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
