"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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