The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
