Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
