some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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