strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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