I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
