Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
