some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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