Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
