And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
3 2 1 whiskey
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
