Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
