Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
