I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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