What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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