You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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