I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
