Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
