what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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