At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize