so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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