I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Drake has all the answers
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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