do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
