i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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