no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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