I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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