He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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