I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I have demons in me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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