And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
