hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
In America we eat man semen.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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