you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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