Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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