remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
