Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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