Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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