pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
