Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I need help removing her.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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